‘The Husband Store’ & who is my perfect lover

Not too long ago, somebody tagged me to reveal the “Eight Points of My Perfect Lover” which I have been too lazy to answer. But ever since my dear sis e-mailed me something about the opening of the Husband Store in New York City (hehe) I have no choice but to take out my shopping list. So here it is, finally out:

My ideal lover possesses the following characteristics:

Is well-rounded and loves the good things in life like travelling, fine dining, literature, poetry, the arts, and ehrmm, shopping. I really don’t mind watching crappy Hollywood movies and eating in hawker’s stalls every now and then (the operative word being, ‘every now and then,’ not ‘all the time’). Am used to being spoiled to pieces.

Is good in handling money but is never a tightwad. No, I won’t fall for somebody who is kuripotbut I could fall for somebody who is kuripot but has a nice car and remembers to eat out once in a while .

Is physically fit & active. Preferably can teach me or join me in activities like hiking, biking, swimming, scuba diving, snorkelling, jogging, and working out at the gym with a promise of a good romping afterwards (hmmm..hehe) This one should not believe that Queen of the Castle is not the only position because in the long run, every position matters.

Preferably tall, presentable and has a good fashion sense. But is not too obsessed with his looks that he is even more finicky than me. Ayoko ng baduy!

Isn’t too work-driven to the point of being frigid.

Practices good hygiene. Must smell good in all the right places. There’s nothing more unsexy than somebody who reeks of beer, cigarettes, morning breath etc. and doesn’t remember to go to the bathroom or chew mints, ever

Thoughtful and has a sensitive soul. Must call me at the right time of day and know when I have my moods. Must know how to treat a lady right. Must love kids. My kids.

Broad-minded and open. Must not be a congenital liar. Must be emotionally stable and not get into jealous fits. Must be able to freely share his thoughts, feelings and fantasies with me.

Hmmm, it’s amazing how all these characteristics are a compendium of all the men I’ve dated and how sometimes seeing one great man can be a benchmark for all the rest. I wonder if there’s still a man out there for me who possesses all these traits bundled up when in truth all I really want is a simple guy I can have coffee and decent conversation with during these hot lonely nights.

In a related development –

“A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband –

On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love
kids, and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

A new Wives Store then opened across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.”