Net illusions

My online friend Paul, a surfer from Hawaii in search of an Asian woman to settle down with, is aghast at the fact that he keeps on falling for fag hags in cyberspace.

He doesn’t know it until somebody tells him they are.

Paul tells me the first time, the girl he was seriously chatting with, turned up on this site.

Last week, he excitedly tells me, there’s a new girl he’s fond of who comes from Southern Philippines and “is really good-looking.”

He sends me the pics (I am glad to be a juror of his choices)and as soon as it downloads, I study it and say “uh-oh….nooooh…gay!”

He’s downhearted. Apparently, I am the second person to tell him this.

“How do you know???,” he asks in desperation.

“I just know!,” was my reply. “..from seeing all the fags in Manila. They can even be prettier than us, real women. And the picture is soooo contrived,” I said in reference to her studio shot which was in pink background.She was wearing a pink hat, red bra, and short pink skirt. Even then, there was something about her that screamed formerly masculine.

I tried to console Paul and told him, “but then I could be wrong. Find out for yourself.”

“Well for sure, I don’t want somebody with a dick between his legs,” he replies.

As of the latest, he tells me that he’s trying this Thai website with “really lovely Thai women.”I keep quiet and just mumble something about having cultural and language barriers. Knowing Paul’s penchant for stumbling into gays, I don’t tell him the little-known fact that Bangkok is the sex change capital of the world.

I have to admit: there was a time when the personals fascinated me and got excited with the fact that suddenly, there were all these guys writing me from out of nowhere. But now the novelty has worn off and I am leading my life the way it is.Judging from Paul’s experience as well as some of my friends’, I am now of the opinion that advertising your availability in cyberspace is like asking for punishment. The Capital One.

In fairness, I have gained a lot of friends in cyberbia, quality ones. But one shouldn’t delude oneself that you could fight Mr. Right on YM or the Manila Channel. You have to be grounded on the fact that internet friendships are at best, transitory. Have fun if you want to have fun, but don’t expect l-o-v-e to be written across your computer screen.It is true that people embark on net romances but it is still hard work. Long distance relationships are not for everybody. If you are comfortable hugging your stuffed teddy bear at night instead of a warm body, or if you are okay with the faraway concept of commitment because after all, you hate it when somebody is breathing down your neck every second and minute of your waking life, then by all means do it.

I do agree with an article I read once that the internet is going to change the modern concept of monogamy. You can glean it from all these reports about marriages breaking up because of the Net thing. For how can you be monogamous when you can meet and chat with people in just one click and those E-greetings say “Send the Same Card to Somebody Else?”

Technology has enabled mankind to communicate at the speed of thought and to network with people from far and wide. On the other hand, it has also opened us to the grave dangers of the net, in the process, taking away the things that really matter such as honesty. My mother was probably right when she said: “If you want a man, buy a dog.”