If these walls could talk

Speaking of motels, I have had a friend tell me that motels don’t have as seedy a reputation in America as they do here in the Philippines. Correct me if am wrong but in there, it’s really more of a lodging place for weary travellers while in here, it’s the undisputed stopover of horny revellers. The motels here must be raking it in, otherwise why are they fully-booked on special “occasions” and why are the people who own them become billionaire-philanthropists, to the point of donating a couple of buildings to a prestigious university in Manila? Another motel owner is ironically close to the Catholic Church, and the chain of tacky inns he owns stretch from Pasig to Recto.

But I digress. In my previous post, I gave my thumbs up to local motel food, describing it as masarap (yummy), to which my friends were quick to add that it must be the subliminal effect of engaging in an erotic exercise. My goodness…hahaha! This got me to realize after going to a couple of motels all these years that the only thing I love about motels is… the food! It must be the fact that I am spoiled rotten. I honestly prefer a decent hotel any day. You know… the one with crisp white sheets, fluffy white towels, a commanding view of the city, a relaxing bathtub with running hot and cold water and of course…. BUFFET BREAKFAST!

On the other hand, just thinking about motels here give me the ick. Here’s my beef on them:

I get claustrophobic because there aren’t any WINDOWS! The whole structure is a box. I imagine all sorts of crazy things like what if there’s a fire or an earthquake. Surely, I wouldn’t be caught running through its narrow corridors into the streets with just the towel on, or nothing at all… 😉

What’s with all of those MIRRORS? Is it scientifically proven that mirror images get you more primed up? Are you sure there are no peeping Toms lurking on the other side and if so, are they not busy burning the latest CD version of the Sta. Mesa scandal?

What’s with all those contraptions? Is it in the Kama Sutra? Because all of them are not engineering students, your clients in the heat of passion cannot possibly figure it out unless you post a how-to guide on the wall.

The towels….. eeech!

The toilet…. stray hairs on the tiles, half-used rolls of tissue.. double eeech!

Victoria Court is overpriced. Do you really need a room with a safari theme, a yacht in the middle or what-have you.. just to get a shag?

What’s with those rose petal-shaped discount cards? Why’s the design shaped like a flower? Frankly, those cards are all over the place that they’re not so “secret” anymore.

And while we’re on this subject, my friends posted this question in our email group today: What’s the most unusual place you ever had sex at?

As expected, it drew the most interesting answers:

A. computer room, office, closet, garden, VTR room, talahiban (vacant lot), girls’ dorm

B. office conference room

C. car in a parking lot, girl’s bathroom in a movie theater, theater changing room

D. car, office, abandoned house, camping site, stairs

E. every corner of the office, rooftop of building

F. Boss’ room, neighbor’s kitchen, CR, heavy petting inside the bus

G. public restroom, car, bus, train, mile high club, broom closet, kitchen, in the middle of a crowded concert show

H. guidance counsellor’s room, servant’s quarters, disco’s CR, shower stall in resthouse, car

Shame, shame, shame! One of the answers is mine and for the life of me, am not telling which! lolz…