Tito Rolly had a laugh over this email I forwarded him on annual performance reviews:
Outgoing personality – always going out of the office
Great presentation skills – able to bulls**t
Good communication skills – spends a lot of time on the phone
Work is first priority – too ugly to get a date
Active socially – drinks a lot
Independent worker – nobody knows what he/she does
Quick-thinking – offers plausible excuses
Careful thinker – won’t easily make a decision
Uses logic on difficult jobs – gets someone else to do it
Meticulous attention to detail – a nit-picker
Has leadership qualities – is tall or has a louder voice
Keen sense of humor – knows lots of dirty jokes
Loyal – Can’t get a job anywhere else
Plans for promotion/advancement – buys drinks for all the boys
Relaxed attitude – sleeps at desk
I have an outgoing personality when the mood hits me and my staff should thank me that I don’t have meticulous attention to detail. However, I find people with great presentation skills sickening, likewise the ass-lickers. The demand for my leadership qualities will ensure that I will not be loyal to this company, unless they give me a raise soon…hahaha. Which office worker are you?
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