Watched Brokeback Mountain last Sunday and Crash scored an Academy Award upset since. I have not watched the latter yet but I remember the former for its memorable line “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Hmmm, how many times have we said this to our most tempting vices, ranging from coffee, to cigarets to casinos or simply that beguiling lover who rocked our world?
I am sure a lot of straight heteros had funny feelings watching the movie but since gay relationships are a reality in this world, there’s nothing preventing us from looking at “the other side.” Although I supposed that Brokeback was more of a long-running melodrama on the dynamics of a passionate yet forbidden gay love, the movie can be credited for deviating from the usual “screaming faggot” stereotypes. The lead characters were after all a couple of cowboys who fell in love while on a herding expedition. This has made me wonder how many of the “real men” out there who have normal families are gays and carrying the burden??
Which brings us to the hypothetical question: if you were married to a man and found out he was gay, how would you take it?
My answer is that I will still be committed. After all, I have married him and so I will let him be. Surely, this person has outstanding qualities which I have learned to love, regardless of whether he was gay or not. Provided of course that he is discreet and not kissing his lover under the staircase, as in the movie. But a woman who takes stock of the situation and then accepts it should realize that this is no longer a normal relationship, therefore has an uncertain future and she should be prepared for the worst.
Second query: what if you find out your son was gay, how would you take it?
I will probably be unnerved at first but then, being my beloved son, I will just tell him “Go ahead son, take fashion design if you must. Pursue your passions wherever it leads you.” (Hah! Thankfully my son doesn’t want to have anything to do with his sisters’ dolls so at least I can heave a sigh of relief there!)
I dunno, I am probably too much of a liberal and a homophile to care. I’ve got a few good gay friends and I love them so dearly. After all it was from them that I learned how to cook my first carbonara, execute a mind-altering blowjob, do the helicopter technique, master the male anatomy and perfect other frivolities that are not even worthy of seeing print here, LOL.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger should be lauded for taking on otherwise difficult roles. In the beginning of the movie, I was actually choosing on who among Jake (Jack) and Heath (Ennis) was more delicious. But then, as their characters sank on me and the movie wore on, my dear Jake assumed a terrifyingly gay aura and I no longer desired him as before. Funny.
And this is why I said the movie left me in a daze. I am just glad that being gay is no longer taboo in our present world. May they find true happiness:)
“if you were married to a man and found out he was gay, how would you take it?”
Well, naturally I would be upset and will take time to get over it. But definitely, I will have an annulment. After all, I am entitled to my own happiness too. I cannot stand the idea of my husband having an affair with another person , be it a woman or a man.
“what if you find out your son was gay, how would you take it?”
I will be shocked at first but will still continue to love my son unconditionally.
if my man said he is gay
well… whats the point of the marriage
may he find happiness with the one he desires
hmm I should move on too
as for a son
shock din ba but let him be
still love him and support him
Ajay,
This is for Noemi and Sha…just a touch of enlightment…what if they found out that their hubby and son are both gay? Would they leave them and have nothing to do with them? or accept their lifestyle as long as the hubby is still supporting the family and the son is still loving both parents? or blame the father for being the reason why the son is gay? Too many If’s in life :???:.
Amando:
I will accept hubby’s lifestyle but I can’t live with him. He should still bear in mind that he has a responsibility to his family though. It’s different with a son. I will accept my son and he can still live with me. That’s my responsibility as a parent. And also love is unconditional to a child. In a spouse, we said our vows as husband and wife. The contract to enter was on the assumption that we are a couple. If he’s gay and has a lover, he can’t live with me and I will file an annulment. Now if he’s gay but does not act on it by having lovers, maybe I will still stay with him.
Well I guess people react to situations in different ways…
there will be questions like ‘what happens to the children and the family?”
some people have been married for so long that they are ready to forgive their partner’s wrongdoings and indscretions, even the most shocking of them all
some people will make a stand and say their moral values will not be compromised
some husbands are good at keeping secrets and if the wife should discover that he was bisexual all long, why should she feel for him less when all along he was that way already?
questions, questions, questions…
Hi Ajay –
Was in Manila for a short 3 days last week and hardly had a wink on the long flight home when the son (he’s not gay, ha!) decided we watch Brokeback in Robinson’s Galleria right smack beside Crowne Plaza where we stayed. Best snooze I ever had in the cold and almost-empty last full show screening. Funny, but I only got woken up to see Jake and Heath getting it on in the wild and Heath and Michelle doing it in bed. Whoa – I thought, this guy sure’s a stud! :lol:Walang pinipili! I think I gotta watch this movie all throughout to see what the hoopla’s all about.
I think Brokeback was more of lust than love. The tagline should have read, “Lust is a force of nature.”
Ajay: Yes, we can forgive our spouse as long as they don’t repeat their mistakes again. GIve them a chance to correct. But if the spouse persist, that is another question. I’ve met wives on both sides of the issue. Some opted to stay and others left. But they knew they had choices so that’s their own lookout.
Emer: I agree with the lust. See, if it was love why did Jake hook up with some guy in Mexico. I didn’t feel the love there.
Hi Al. I wonder how your son found the movie? Natawa ako sa phrase mong “walang pinipili”:grin:
Dr. E and Noemi, yes I agree that the two men were were driven more by their passions, but that’s what usually happens in forbidden relationships right? And if you happen to have been close to gays, you will know that they really can be lustful:wink:
Btw, thanks for saying your piece on the issue of marital infidelity Noemi. Am sure you’ve given some of my readers food for thought….
well, AJ, siguro ang tanong e kung, kailan naging gay ang lalake, before or after the marriage, ang galing naman niyan magtago, kung hindi nahalata ng wife or gf, then everything would be a different story…
I do know of some friends who were rumored to be gay/widely perceived as ‘effeminate’ Techguy and are even crazier about things like fashion, baking and interior designs than their women but these girls who eventually married them obviously didn’t mind. That’s because they are very responsible and their talents can be a good addition to the household:grin: Whether they pursue or not their homoerotic tendencies on the side is another matter & something we can only guess about…
as a mom to a young boy, i always hav this question about what if he grows up to be gay? same thing… accept it and move on… love him and support him so he wud grow up be a wonderful person. buti na lng he likes cars and all xtreme sports. teka, good sign na kaya yun?
hubby gay? hehehe the question never entered my mind….