With apologies to Robert Fulghum as well as the Giant Douche and the Turd Sandwich who are slugging it out in the presidential elections. This post is totally irrelevant to the prevailing excitement but this list was something I wanted to do. And now that I’ve done it, it seems too mundane. Just bear with me, friends. Not necessarily in this order:
34.Diets almost always never work, so why diet? I am not gonna deprive myself because there just might be a deadly earthquake tomorrow. The key is in eating the right foods. If you watched “Supersize Me,†you know what I mean.
33. Now I know why women have those “mom figures.” It’s because they get to finish up their kids’ leftover French fries, spaghetti, burgers and all that greasy stuff.
32. No use dreaming of with kids around. The bed is a trampoline, there are abstract paintings on the walls, and my kitchen whisk is being used as a play rocket. I will build my dream home when they are ten.
31. Make peace with mom. Am a parent now so it’s the best time to understand mom, who was also a single mom, for her shortcomings. Hopefully, the old lady has mellowed too.
30. It pays to write resolutions for birthdays or New Year’s. It’s nice to read back to see what you’ve achieved.
29. “Be more humble as you go up…,” so a mentor told me.
28. Singlehood need not be a curse but a blessing. It seems I am happier now than when I was “married.†Related life lesson 2: marriage may not be for everybody.
27. Every lonely woman should have a multi-speed. It is safer and less complicated that way.
26. Living fully means you go through life in phases. The “wild” phase..the “normal” phase..”the “deprived” phase. My mantra right now is from M. Scott Peck.. “delayed gratification is a virtue”
25. Be gratified but protect yourself always. You never know when fate deals a playful joke on you. For example, there’s one in a million chance that the egg and sperm cell will meet and who would think they would produce twins??
24. The early bird catches the worm. I feel better that I can do more starting my day early.
23. Nurture your friendships. Sometimes they’re better than intimate attachments. Have coffee with Best Friend at least once week.
22. But dump bad friends, if you must. No use being a doormat. Remember what it said in Desiderata: “Avoid loud and aggressive persons for they are vexations to the spirit…â€
21.Looking for loyalty and unconditional love? I find it, and feel it from, my kids
20. Hug and kiss your children everyday..or your pets..or your pillows..
19. Diplomacy and charm count a lot…in snaking your way out of that traffic ticket, in haggling for prices or in simply letting the other person do a task for you
18. The man who promises you the moon and the stars early on is a fake. The best advice I can probably give my daughters is to be streetsmart about guys.
17. Give love a second chance . Determine what’s negotiable and non-negotiable for you and adjust accordingly.
16. It may be hard to swallow but life, as in career moves and human relationships, always call for a compromise.
15. A mom worth her salt should be able to dish out a good oatmeal cookie, fluffy pancakes , chunky spaghetti or whatever her kid requests. Believe me, they remember you their whole life for it.
14. Recharge and smell the breeze…travel
13. Don’t just collect those cookbooks. Do the recipes there, too.
12. Taking care of your body is the best investment you can make for you and your loved ones’ future.
11. Read. A book a day keeps Alzheimer’s away;)
10. Pay your bills on time. My ideal is to live a life so downsized I don’t have to pay bills at all.
9. In any action or decision, it always helps to have a Plan A and Plan B. It makes you less frustrated and more hopeful. Decide, learn from it, and never look back.
8. There’s no excuse for not looking good or dressing well. You can still look like a million bucks for so little
7. Keep your mouth shut, most of the time. People can be so cruel that they can put color into even your most innocuous remarks or worse, use it against you
6. Organize, organize. My utopia is a paperless office which will have no need for those bulky briefing papers, background materials, memos ad infinitum. (Wait, is that my car insurance certificate stuck in that mountain of garbage?)
5. Get out of your cocoon and make a difference.Sometimes it helps it forget about your worries and the “Me Me Me” mentality and think instead about the greater humanity. Volunteer at the soup kitchen.
4. As they say, do something you love to do and you’ll never have to work for a day in your life. Simply put, follow your dream. Work hard and enjoy your work; don’t pin your hopes on the lottery or those crazy pyramid scams
3. Never will I kiss the boss’s ass. There will always be a better job for somebody like me. Duh.
2. Prayers do work even if I am no fanatical chick. God has been kind to me and I believe there is a greater power that governs this universe
1. Blogging is a good form of therapy but is also the most addicting time-waster ever. Hehe.
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